Desperate Letter

I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me...

But I could not; I wish I could let you see my expression, But that too I could not. I know am lost and sometime I really wanted to belong to you ...just to you. I could not. Your presence comfort me in unuttered silence and I reciprocate with equally silent gestures...it perhaps got unnoticed. I was unable to show you that I know you care.
I am sure these are nothing but may be some part of those ruptured emotion which seeped through the uncontrolled mind of an Alzheimer’s meant something.

Each day you came, sat and stroked my hair while I lay passively. I could see the desperation in your eyes and yet I could not reach them, console them …I just could not. Three long years I have seen you come and go till last night.
There were confusion and wanting in you…there was life ready to enter you …I could see that. I could sense that you are tired with the regular visit with no sign of recovery; I could see your part torn in wariness, loyalty and duty for your beloved wife so much that you are forcefully withdrawing yourself from the love you deserve. The love that is waiting for you outside the door of this institution…I could see it.

My dear, love is boundless at least it should never give you a feeling of hopelessness. I am sure you will have the life that we once dreamt…but am happy if it is not with me trust me; am really happy. Before I succumb totally and bid farewell to all these bounds and emotional earthly cuffs I wanted you to know you were a special gift and though I could not tell you how much I wish to kiss you one last time...am happy .

Still, I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me...

Valentine ...the world waiting for love

Well I know it must be decade since I disappeared from blog sphere. And my apologies. At the same time I hope that all of you had a great time ...
So what did you guys do at valentine day ? The day before valentine day I watched the flock of youngsters arguing with the vendor for the sudden price rise of red rose and still happily buying them . The sign of contentment in their eyes after buying the rose, mesmerised me...
Bumped over a group who was trying hard to figure out which Multiplex theatre will still have some shows of 'My name is khan' for the valentine day....

So i guess love is in the air...
I've learnt that love is a wonderful thing and blessings since my childhood. But as I grew up I witnessed so much opposition to this Wonderful Thing'. I had seen people killing each other for the 'love of religion', seen terrorising outer state people for the name of 'some local welfare' and also seen 'Honor killing' just because some couple were in love...
so much for 'Love' ....
so this valentine I had a normal day ...just like the day before selfishly busy and demanding...

I dream Beautiful World !!!

How often you have a good morning start , even in Monday's?
Okay that's a question posed to be answered seriously .
Frankly speaking i don't always have a good Mondays...irrespective the fact that i try to motivate myself at no ends.
But the cozy rugs and blankets are nowadays posing a threat to my inner motivation [(:)]


Anyways I have a new neighbor moved, quite recently . A couple with a cute kid . For sometime I have seen them playing badminton at their lawn when I return
from office. I always pass a smile diligently to them  .
Yesterday morning I thought that its high time and I  really need to take care of my own garden space ...
I stepped  out with all the required assistance (mechanical) towards "mission garden" .

After a while I heard a faint but sweet voice ...I turned around to see my sweet lilttle neighbor ....she waved me and I returned  it back to her ...
She asked me my name and followed a long conversation ending up her at my garden.


She told me garden is about love (she informed me that her mom told her so) ...its about the way you want your garden to look...
let me put her words as it is

"aap jitna pyaar karogey ...utna jyada ful ayega" ( the more you love your plants ...the more flower will blossom)
I was taken aback with her wisdom ...she is such an angel....

I thought about it for long ....the innocence she have now ...how long will the world allow her or more precisely how we the adults will allow her to retain...
She have no words in her dictionary as "hate" neither the word "terrorist" or "riot"
And may be that is why she is so beautiful and divine ....
i realized it doesn't take much to be like her ...except to free our mind from this word "hate"
many of us are trying hard each days ...

Does it take so much effort to be happy?
to be able to feel others pain ...?
to love ?

Not much just we need to cut out the word "I" and "MY"

whats harm in trying to built a beautiful world ?And If it is a dream then 
I do dream .......

Wonders Rules:

Yesterday I visited the elegant and one among the seven wonders of world “The Taj Mahal”. It’s been a hot afternoon when I reached the city of Agra .I was little annoyed with the climatic condition .Irrespective of inconvenient transport system I finally reached at the gate of Taj Mahal. The entry gate made up of red old bricks had touch of its historic time as I tried to imagine the Taj Mahal ………………








But soon I realized my mistake ,when I stepped there inside the historic monument I was just spell bound .I could not figure out how can anybody built it …so beautifully ,so magnificently? I realized how stupid I was trying to judge its beauty at the exterior gate.

I stared at it as if somebody glued me to the marble floor with some magical power. I proceeded slowly step by step, trying to feel each inches of the layout

I can not describe the beauty,it is beyond my imagination as well as analysis. Rather I want to share some of my thoughts with all of you.

After exploring the whole Taj I sat quietly at a corner from where I could see the Yamuna River flowing…and I let loose myself in the stream of thoughts……

I wondered how an emperor (“Shah- Jahan”) could imagine such a beauty especially who was known for a merciless heart? I stared at the flowing Yamuna asking it the answer of all my queries…the only witness of time and its tale.


1. I realized that each and every person have a touch of divinity in him …it depends on how well we can carry it…the divine power always give us a chance to improve ourselves …
And any art is nothing but the reflection of that higher power or may be the direct connection.


2. I think here monument is the self conscience of the emperor. He shed limitless blood and had merciless regime and yet he knew that he was doing wrong and possibly he tried to wash the stain of his wrongs, building the milk white monument.
May be we can built a beautiful conscience full heart …just quite comparable with “Taj Mahal” so that our heart and soul don’t have enough space to get indulged in any complexity …..


3. I learned not to judge anything seeing its exterior …..Judgmental mind can be catastrophic. Same way I felt judging a person means de-valuing the pure soul that is residing in him


4. What we do is what we get paid off …..That is so true .the emperor was captivated and jailed by his own son .He had nothing in his later life except grieve, sorrow and may be repentance…..


5. Lastly “love” is the only word that can create beauty…Shah Jahan built this Magnum Opus in memory of his beloved wife “Mumtaj”.
Love in all form creates...it never destroys; it elevates humankind to the richness and texture of glory and pure radiance…………..


The dusky light of sunset illuminated the tower and it stood there tall and vibrant as if smiling ……whispering the unsaid stories of time …long long ago ………………..











PS: - the snaps will be posted at :-
http://throughmyeyescatchtheeternity.blogspot.com/